The Mean Streets of D.C.

So yesterday morning, a 22-year-old girl was killed in Dupont Circle while riding her bike to work. Run over by a garbage truck. Damn. Then yesterday evening while walking to dinner, there was a guy laying in the street. He had just been sideswiped and wiped out. From what I can gather, the driver took off. Then tonight on my home from school I saw a car on the side of Pennsylvania Ave with its flashers on. There was a cyclist laying on the street writhing in pain, his bike wrecked pretty good, and another bike on the ground. My best guess is that the driver hit both of them. Must've just happened because the ambulance wasn't even there yet. Moral of the story? ALL PARTIES NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL!

My order of most common transportation is 1) walking, 2) driving, 3) cycling. As a consumer of all three conveyances, I get pissed at everyone and I often fear what's going to happen. For starters, drivers don't pay attention to people who are walking. They cruise through crosswalks or breeze through stop signs with nary a care. Then you get the walkers who don't pay attention to the drivers. When I drive I shouldn't have to wonder if somebody is going to dart across 14th St. Which brings up a good point--we recently moved to Logan Circle and I'm amazed at how many people just cross 13th and 14th St. wherever they want! Jaywalk if you want, but do it when there's no traffic. It's at a point all over the city where people don't even look to see if they have a "walk" sign. The cops have begun ticketing for jaywalking and I'm all for it. Mind you, I'm a hardcore jaywalker myself. The difference is that I'll jaywalk against a signal if there is nobody around. I don't do it in the middle of the street. Usually. And then there is cycling. I hate riding my bike on DC streets. The drivers suck and pay attention to nothing, so it's a crapshoot. Plus the walkers are all over the place and you never know if they're going to jump in front of you. Yet on the other hand, I can't stand the cyclists who ride in the middle of the street and then just disobey the traffic signs. If you want to ride down the street, you best pay attention to the signals and stop signs. Don't be that asshole who gets hit by a car and then ticketed for disobeying the law (it happens. Happens for jaywalkers too).

So there it is. My PSA for the day. Pay attention, everyone. And wear your helmet if you're a biker. And a word of advice to the people who turn left on a red to a one-way in DC--it's against the law. Just a bit of fair warning. I'll link if I can find it, but I know this from a friend who got ticketed. I thought you could turn left on a red in DC too.

Back and Forth We Go

People say that they wish I'd keep up more with this blog, a.k.a., "the fun blog," as opposed to "the serious blog." Wellllll, I try, but it's not easy. I have to keep up on my other blog on a regular basis because it was actually created for classes that I'm taking in grad school. Welcome to the digital age where your homework is now completed on a blog! Anyway, it's tough to flip and flop between the two, and it's especially hard when you still have no Internet at home because Comcast is a shitty company! I guess I could maintain one blog, but where's the fun in that! So if you're looking for a fix and you can't find it here, feel free to visit the "serious blog." It's really not too serious. Plus, my professor said, I'm "the first person in [his] class to categorize a blog entry as 'F******." So that's pretty cool.

And here's some amusement for the day. Take this online caffeine test to see if you have a problem. This morning I clicked 192 times in 30 seconds, which means I'm "A vibrating crackhead." This afternoon I tried again and got 200, which means I'm "Near Death--Delusions of Godlike Power." Flattery. It means everything.


OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Checkmate, Ronald. Checkmate. Now get me a coffee.

As I got off the metro at Ballston today with a sense of annoyance (Orange Line was late, people were moving slower than molasses in Antarctica), I was greeted by one of my favorite sights--people handing out free stuff! Workers from Chick-Fil-A had giant coolers filled with steaming hot chicken biscuit sandwiches. Awwwww yeah. After my usual breakfast of a tiny bowl of Kashi and a cup of coffee I gladly took the handout and headed to the office. I informed my co-workers that there was booty downstairs and they said that all the goodies were gone earlier. I said it's out there now. Somebody went down only to discover that they were indeed all out again. Oh well. Ballston is a busy metro station.

And here is how Ronald McDonald was bested. McDonald's is doing a promotion today where you get a free chicken biscuit sandwich with the purchase of a medium or large beverage. It's a new product for McDs. The Ballston Mall food court has both McDonald's and Chick-Fil-A. Chicken sandwiches are Chick's bread and butter. Ah hah! See? They're trying to make you remember to go to Chick-Fil-A for all your chicken needs. Whatever. Free chicken is free chicken. The sandwich I got this morning was delicious, especially once I doused it with Tabasco.

On a further topic of free, Dunkin Donuts is giving away free iced coffees today from 10AM til 10PM. So go get your Dunkies' on.

And speaking of coffee, I had a delicious cup yesterday. I went to The Daily Grind on North Quincy St., which is a few blocks from my office. (Just saw that one is being built even closer--oh boy. Don't stop the excitement.) I went there once before but don't often visit because it's further than the other joints right downstairs from me. I got whatever the drip of the day was (Italian something or the other). Damn. I have to say that it was one of the finest cups of coffee I've had. The flavor was outstanding and just tasted really coffeeish. I also got a cinnamon strudel or coffee cake or something. It too was flavorful and really hit the spot.

Wow. What's next. My life just gets better and better.

Dumping the Body

"Everyday I'm dumping the body"
The Tragically Hip--"Locked in the Truck of A Car

I haven't been to the ol' blog here in a while because I've been spending a lot of time at my other blog. (Shhh, don't tell this one because I don't want a jealousy quarrel!) I figured this story is a doozy to come back with. As usual, there is a song that complements most aspects of my life. This line from the Hip doesn't fit completely, but it still is relevant to this situation. And we're off.

I spent Saturday in the house with the S.O. We've been packing and throwing crap away to get ready for our move in 2 weeks. After a full day of work we decided to order in some dinner and watch a flick (If you haven't seen it yet, check out Into the Wild--great movie.) We grabbed the bags and bags of garbage and paper recycling and headed out to the dumpsters in the back of the building. I threw out some trash and then held the lid open on the paper dumpster so she could throw out some newspapers, phonebooks, and what not. As we're talking I looked down into the dumpster and noticed what looks like a pair of legs twitching slightly. I took a double take and realized that there was definitely a pair of legs in jeans curled up as if in the fetal position. I couldn't see a head or torso or anything else. Knowing that it would do no good to make mention yet, the S.O. just keeps throwing trash in. I shut the lid and she looked at me wondering what was up. So we started walking towards the building and I said, "I think there's somebody in the dumpster." She says, "WHAT!?!" I repeat myself and we both high tail to the apartment. She asked me again what I saw and I said that I saw a pair of legs that kind of moved when we threw the phonebooks, etc. in.

Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but a few thoughts run through my mind if I see a body in a dumpster.
1) Somebody dumped a dead body into the dumpster.
2) Somebody threw an injured person into the dumpster.
3) A bum crawled into the dumpster to sleep.
4) Any variable of the above scenario.

A body in a dumpster is simply not a common occurrence in Georgetown. Sure there are bums who wander around, but Georgetown is very affluent and relatively safe (aside from that murder that occurred last year 2 blocks from my apartment).

As we were inside the house, I figured that I should probably call the police. I didn't know if the guy was hurt or what, and I certainly wasn't going to check on my own. So I called 911 (first time I ever called that number by the way!) and explained to dispatch what the problem was. The lady repeated what I said in an incredulous voice, "There's a body in a dumpster behind your apartment??" She said she'd send police and then transferred me to the ambulance dispatch so I could give them the details as well. Around 3 or 4 minutes later I heard sirens and then the dispatch called back to get exact directions to the back alley of our apartment. A few minutes passed and I decided to head outside to check out the scene.

The cops were parked near the dumpster, but they and the EMT guys were checking the building next to mine. So I walked up and said, "Hey. I'm the one who called." The police came over and I pointed out the correct dumpster to check. An EMT followed me and stood aside from the dumpster lid and popped it open. He yelled out, "Yep. Here he is." He shined a flashlight in the dumpster and yelled at the guy to get out.

So out pops an upper-20s, lower-30s Hispanic fellow who was completely out of it. The cops asked him what he was doing and he said he was just resting. Considering we had thrown phone books on his body, he must've been more than "just resting". The cops checked his ID and assured him they're not with ICE. They told him he shouldn't be sleeping in dumpsters and they can bring him to a shelter, etc. One cop asked him if he is drunk and he said he doesn't drink anymore. Mmmhm. OK, maybe he wasn't drunk, but he was on something. So after a spell, I checked to see if they need me for anything. They took my name and numbers and thanked me for calling the police. They ran his ID and continued talking to him. And that was it. (I don't know where they took him after I walked away.)

The take-aways.
1) I was very impressed with the professionalism of the folks at 911.
2) The cops and EMTs had a very quick response time. That's reassuring.
3) It was a very weird feeling to see somebody in a dumpster, who may or may not have been dead or injured.
4) I think a phonebook to the head would be very painful.

Greenpeace and Muffies

I work in Ballston (for those non-DCers, it's a neighborhood in Arlington) right near the metro stop and the mall. Greenpeace always has people on the streets stopping people for petitions or fund raising or whatever they're doing. I occasionally change my walking route to avoid these people. But not often. They usually try to stop you with something like, "Do you have some time for the environment?" Or "Do you care about the environment?" You get the point. My problem is that I usually break into a big grin when I see these kids. They misinterpret that as my joy at wanting to stop to answer questions or do whatever they're doing. The reality is that I'm usually thinking of what I consider funny responses when they try to stop me. I usually just say, "No time right now." A question for the masses though: Is it inappropriate to simply respond with a deadpan, "Fuck the environment."? That's what I really want to do. Or if they say, "Do you care about the environment?", can't I just say, "Ummm, noooooo. Not really." I wouldn't do that though because I do indeed care about the environment. Hell, I just reused a ziploc bag today! AND I didn't burn any styrofoam with an aerosol can of Aquanet and a match. So I get a reward!

And to that end, I did indeed get a reward for myself. I had the yen for a little treat of the pastry nature. Generally if I feel like I want a cakey type of treat, I'll get something in the carrot or red velvet cake family if I can find a suitable offering. I also enjoy anything in the pumpkin group. Serendipity was with me on that front because I happened to walk into Panera Bread to see their offerings and imagine my surprise when I spied something called the Pumpkin Muffie! Admittedly though, I did not enjoy actually asking for a "pumpkin muffie." What a horrid name. The product was kind of like the top of a muffin (all cake, no stump. Similar to Elaines' idea in Seinfeld). It was OK I guess. Nothing to write home about though. Just OK. Then I took a brief walk and got a cup of coffee because Panera's coffee is OK, but not great.

Oh yeah. Now for the stupid cold

So I've been figuring that I'd get sick for a while. I don't think it's possible to go an entire season without catching a cold at some point. As usual, I've been putting my faith in Airborne, or its cheaper generic equivalent if need be. I don't know if this stuff does anything, but I sometimes take it anyway. Last Thursday I finally succumbed to the sick that has been floating around everywhere. I even had a fever for the first time in I don't know how long. I'm on the mend now, but still not top notch. For those of you who don't know, Airborne has been ordered to pay $27 million in a class-action lawsuit. If you've taken the stuff, you can get a piece of the pie. Visit here for details.

And on the topic of colds and sickness, will you idiots please stay home when you're deep into it?? For the love of Christ. Not a single one of you out there has a job that is so important that you can't miss a day or two of work. (In your mind you might, but in reality you don't.) Think of it as a little holiday with NyQuil hallucinations to sweeten the deal. And if you are going to go to work, cover your fucking mouth when you cough and/or sneeze. Seriously. I am so sick of assholes out there coughing and hacking and blowing snots with their yaps wide open. What's the matter, hands too full of coffee and iPods? Tough. Cover your mouth, you swine. Otherwise, I will blame you explicity when we have some kind of epidemic.

And my apologies to those of you who do cover up. I get really cranky when I'm sick and need to school the idiots.

Stupid cold. Stupid drivers

I've been waylaid for a little while with a nasty ass cold/flu hybrid that's been floating around. I knew it was inevitable that I'd get sick, so I'm not surprised. I'll get to more about that shortly.

First, I'd like to say thanks to the ignorant beotch who almost sideswiped me this morning causing me to skid on rocks and dirt and then ram into a curb. Pardon my French, but you are a stupid shit. Here are a couple of things you should understand about driving in the U.S.

1. A green light means that I can go when I'm supposed to go. It is not a pretty color to look at. I may be mistaken, but I'm guessing that green means go in China too, and red means stop there too. And that red means you should stop and/or yield to the huge flow of oncoming traffic.
2. When somebody is laying on their horn because you are obliviously going into their lane, that means maybe you should take your head out of your ass long enough to check around you to see what the ruckus is all about.
3. When you nearly cause an accident and somebody has hit something (luckily only a curb this time), you should probably stop in case there is damage. I have no idea if there is a law to this, but maybe it falls under some kind of hit and run umbrella law.

Luckily, there was no damage. Of course as luck has it, I recently got new tires which were very expensive. I'm grateful that they're made of Kevlar. Maybe that helped prevent a blowout or cracked rim. I don't believe I ever saw somebody as oblivious as this lady was this morning. She just continued driving into my lane with no signal, no looking, nothing. I'm grateful that my cool head prevailed and I didn't uselessly chase her down to scream at her (that never accomplishes anything). As luck had it, she was going in the same direction as me, so I was able to catch up to get her license plate number in the event of damage. I can't tell if she recognized my vehicle as the one she nearly hit, but I'm happy that she appeared to have a bit of fear in her face.

And so, to the lady in the gray Toyota Corolla, Virginia tag # KGC 8842, I would like to say FUCK YOU! You should not be allowed behind a Big Wheel.